I'm awake . . .

Well, I feel like I've finally woken from the dream that I've been wrapped in for the past four months. It's strange. I feel like I've just snapped into the real world. I've always known exactly what it was, but I wasn't a part of it. It really feels like I've had one of those crazy, dream filled nights that seem to go on forever. When I look back at my pictures, I can't process all that I've done and seen. Even my SAS friends, who I know I love to death, don't seem real anymore. I feel so far removed. I can't bring myself to unpack my suitcases or sort through my pictures. For some reason, I don't even really feel like talking on AIM to my SAS friends. Maybe it's the denial phase?

I spent the day before yesterday (after getting my tooth pulled) putting my new room into some sort of order. I unpacked the bags of clothes that I had stored at my mom's house while I was gone on my trip. Was it fun to see all my old clothes. I almost forgot that I had some of the stuff. I've been living on two pairs of jeans for the past four months, all of a sudden, I have a huge stack to chose from.

Yesterday, I accidentally slept until 2:30 in the afternoon (*note - I was up until around 4 a.m.). I really didn't mean to do that, but it's a really cool feeling not to "have" to get up for anything. I got dressed in something besides my SAS hoodie for practically the first time since I got off the ship (my mom actually made fun of me the night before - asking me if I'd washed it), actually did my hair and put on some make-up, and ventured into the real world. First, I went out and visited my friend Danielle and saw my new little baby Donovan. He's so so precious and Danielle is so happy. Then, I went and had Chicago pizza (oh, how I missed you) and cheap red wine and watched "Days" (Days of Our Lives) with Matthew. It was perfect.

I had a busy day today. I woke up early and went and saw my other new baby Adrien. Gosh, is she a little doll. I fed her a bottle and then I had to burp her. It's been such a long time since I've had a newborn around that I forgot all about that part. I loved it. These babies are so sweet. I hope that I get to spend alot of time with them before I go to Argentina.

Then, I went and did a little conservative shopping. I only let myself buy really inexpensive, useful things, besides the pair of jeans that I really needed (despite the stack about having a pile of jeans). I have to learn how to live like a poor college kid, or I won't make it until September on my savings. Then, I did a little grocery shopping and bought the stuff to make a couple meals for my family and some Diet Pepsi and microwave popcorn for me. Shopping at the grocery store was overwhelming. It's so strange to have such easy access to any kind of food or product you want after so long. I did notice that my shopping habits have changed. It's alot easier to make myself buy less after doing without so much for so long. It really makes you realize that things just aren't necessary.

After the grocery story, I came back to my mom's and did some cleaning and made and cleaned up dinner. It felt so good to be productive again. Of course, I'm dreading unpacking all my SAS suitcases. I have absolutely no desire to do it. They are just sort of shoved against the wall.

I do have alot of little junk to settle - moving, Argentina arrangements, work stuff, etc. But, overall, I love the freedom of waking up and doing what I want in a given day. I feel the desire to do some worthwhile work while I'm home. I am a little afraid to make commitments because I think that I'm going to be more busy than I imagine, and I don't want to tie myself down with responsibilities. But, I'm considering trying to volunteer a couple days a week at the hospital while I'm here. I was a candy striper in high school and enjoyed it. So, we'll see. It's hard to tell.

Tomorrow is a mystery . . .

Tah Tah for now!